How to Get the Death You Want
A Practical and Moral Guide
by John Abraham
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Pub Date Apr 01 2017 | Archive Date Jul 13 2017
Independent Book Publishers Association (IBPA), Members' Titles | Upper Access, Inc.
Description
This is a comprehensive manual for anybody reaching the end of life, and for their caring friends, relatives, advocates, and caretakers. The author, an Episcopal priest, describes in detail the formidable challenges faced by those who wish to avoid months or years of painful treatment after they no longer have any hope of recovering any reasonable quality of life. Specific subjects include:
the nature of physical death;legal documents to clarify one's wishes;the need for a strong advocate to have the patient's wishes honoedmoral questions that must be considered;means of dying painlessly once the decision is made;and much more, including how to respond to reluctant doctors, and the value of humor in communicating with a dying patient.Abraham emphasizes that despite is position as a priest, this is not a religious book. It is intended for people of all faiths or no faith. People develop their own views on end-of-life issues, and for those who have not yet given it much thought, he offers facts and insights that are useful in forming one's moral beliefs. The decision, of course, must always be made by the patient, usually well ahead of time while he or she is able to make a sound judgment. If the patient desires continued medical treatment despite suffering and no means of recovery, that person's wishes must be honored. However, he argues strongly that those who hope to avoid the terrible suffering that comes so often at the end of life should also have their wishes honored.
The book carries strong endorsements from a number of well-known authorities on death, dying, grief, and mourning, including Rabbi Earl A. Grollman, the author of numerous best-selling books on death and grieving, and Derek Humphry, founder of the Hemlock Society and author of Final Exit.
A Note From the Publisher
*This title is currently not available to be read on Kindle.
Available Editions
| EDITION | Other Format |
| ISBN | 9780942679403 |
| PRICE | $14.95 (USD) |
Links
Featured Reviews
Cindy H, Reviewer
This is a book that everyone should read. It was written by an Episcopal priest but in no way pushes religion at you. All of us should have some type of plan as to how we want the end of our life to be.
It was particularly interesting and heartbreaking to me. My mom didn't want to make any plans other than cremation and no funeral. The hard decisions were ignored. She did not want to die and that was that! She a heart attack and then congestive heart failure. This happened in February 2014, and she was gone in July. She had no advocate. Dad was in the nursing home with her. He has dementia and could not make any decisions.
As her health weakened, she still would not tell us what to do. Her sister is the type of person who believes if there is life in her finger, then anything and everything should be done to keep her alive. It doesn't matter that she is suffering which I totally disagree with!
One evening I was called to see if my brother would sign POLST, comfort care. I live in another state so he called and told me he couldn't do because she smiled at him and talked. At this point, she was too weak to feed herself, her legs were weeping, oxygen for breathing. I talked to the nurse who said he doesn't see her cry in pain just trying to move her or gasping for air. She wanted him to think all was fine.
The next day, I called and talked to the social worker. She faxed the paper for me to sign. It was a hard decision but one that I felt should be done. Why should Mom suffer? So all meds were stopped and she was just given morphine for the pain. I only told my husband I was doing this. The rest of the family would have tore me up. As oldest child, I did so my mom wouldn't suffer. I did feel guilty until a hospice nurse told me to think of it as the final gift I could give my mother. Which I thought was a beautiful way of putting it.
This is book was excellent and so very helpful. I have my final days planned since I do not want to go through what Mom went through. I would highly recommend this book, you will learn so much.
* I was provided an ARC from the publisher and NetGalley. I voluntarily read and reviewed this book.
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