The Path Between Us

As a fan of the Enneagram, this book was simply intriguing. It helped me to learn about the inner workings on my mind, as well as my husband. The book itself is full of informative passages about how each Enneagram type works together. The information is explained well and is easy to understand. I highly recommend this book!

A great follow-up to The Road Back to You. I admit that I did what the author said not to do and skipped immediately ahead to my type. I related to what was said about my type in most descriptions and examples. In all the books I have read about the Enneagram, the authors always say that you shouldn't "type' other people, that they need to discover their type through their own work. So... This book 'works' great if you know another person's type, then you can see how best to relate/interact with them. However, if you don't know a person's type, this book might not be as helpful. For example, I'd love to know better how to interact with a certain person, but not knowing her type (and even trying to guess her type, I'm still stumped) leaves me still at square 1.

Suzanne Stabile's new book, The Path Between Us, is a much needed followup to her joint book with Ian Cron, The Road Back to You. Stabile's, The Path Between Us, helps readers authentically apply the enneagram to the complex relationships in their lives-- whether personal or professional. Her writing continues to be easily accessible and yet this easy style never compromises the intellectual content or depth of her observations. Stabile confidently draws on her own life's work and practice with the enneagram to engage and support readers on their own journey. This is a must read for any student (new or not so new) of the enneagram and I eagerly anticipate Stabile's book tour and future writing projects.

The Path Between Us is a follow-up to Road Back to You, co-written with Ian Cron. If you're just starting to learn about the enneagram, start with that one, but then read Path Between Us to understand how different numbers relate to each other. This is a book I will absolutely purchase once published, as I know I will be going back to it frequently as a reference.

Another tool in your relational arsenal! Though I don't think an archetype-based personality description will ever be perfect or all inclusive, I've found the enneagram gets pretty close. The descriptions are specific while still being flexible, and often have enough factors of change to sort the majority of people. This book specifically contains a good basic background section as well as detailed, clear, and practical descriptions of each type and how they can be expected to behave relationally. I could've done with a little more specificity/detail on relationships between certain types, and I was also a bit disappointed that there wasn't at least a simplified Enneagram measure included. Still, it was well written, relatable, and easy to read. Thumbs up!

The Path Between Us is a follow-up to Road Back to You and is a further elaboration on the personalities according to the Enneagram. I found the descriptions enlightening of how the world and interactions between people look and feel different for the different enneagram types. Indeed, some of the recurrent issues I seem to have suddenly made sense when analysed through this approach. I found the summary of the good and not so good points at the end of each personality type very helpful. This book is for everybody who wants to understand and relate to people better as it will make you understand why some situation will happen over and over again with certain types of people. To understand how the world and the situation look from their perspective and how you can come across is invaluable for daily life.

The Path Between Us is a relationship guide based on the enneagram. For those who have never heard of enneagram, it is an equivalent of Myer-Briggs personality test, albeit with a spiritual background and more complexity.

WHO WOULD ENJOY IT
People with a love of Myer-Briggs types should be curious about enneagram and how this can work in relationships of all kinds.

WHAT I LOVE ABOUT IT
The flexibility of interpretation that takes into account the complexity of humans is a pull for me. Moreso, the authroseems to know her subject very well and brings her experience to bear on how we can use this tool to enhance our relationships at work, home, and the way we see ourselves.

......
The Path Between Us: An Enneagram Journey to Healthy Relationships by Suzanne Stabile is available to buy from on all major online bookstores. Many thanks to InterVarsity Press for review copy.

“You can’t change how you see—you can only change what you do with how you see.”
– Suzanne Stabile

Relationships bring great pleasure, but they also bring challenges. Especially when our differences seem greater than our similarities.

In Suzanne Stabile's new book, she navigates the differences between Enneagram Types. One number at a time, she shows how that Type relates to each of the other eight Types. This is very useful and practical information.

“First, please don’t use your Enneagram number as an excuse for your behavior. Second, don’t use what you’ve learned about the other numbers to make fun of, criticize, stereotype, or in any way disrespect them. Ever. Third, it would be great if you would spend your energy observing and working on yourself as opposed to observing and working on others.”

While none of this is exact science, it does give positive starting points for how to grow our relationships.

“All relationships—those that truly matter and even those that don’t—require translation. And if our interest in relational growth and transformation is sincere, then the Enneagram is one of the most helpful translation tools available.”

While this book isn’t necessarily a Christian book, it is definitely a spiritual book, and one that you can apply to your Christian faith. Suzanne Stabile is cofounder (with her husband, Rev. Joseph Stabile) of Life in the Trinity Ministry, a nondenominational ministry for spiritual growth and formation.

Here are some specific suggestions from Suzanne about each Type and how we might best relate to them.

Ones, the Perfectionists – Things could always be better
“In a relationship with a One, honesty is essential, but telling them that they are good in ways that they can hear it is the greater gift. Do it as often as you can in all the ways you can. Ones appreciate equity—they work hard and they expect the same from you.”

Twos, the Helpers – Your feelings or mine?
“In an intimate relationship, Twos need to hear you say ‘I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. There’s nothing you need to do, there’s nothing you need to be, and there’s nothing you need to help me with. I love you for you.’ Don’t trust their answer when they say they’re fine or good. Press a little deeper.”

Threes, the Performers – Being everyone but myself
“Since their orientation to time is to the future, Threes are often distracted during conversations. Don’t take the distraction personally. They won’t be interested in rehashing things from the past. Know that Threes want your approval and praise, and they really like it when you verbalize it.”

Fours, the Romantics – Go away but don’t leave
“Fours long for what they don’t have and they are comfortable with longing. It’s not something for you to fix. Don’t tell Fours to ‘cheer up.’ They are usually neither sad nor depressed. Fours are comfortable with melancholy.”

Fives, the Observers – Fences have gates
“Be forthright and direct with Fives, but don’t use too many words. If you have a problem with a Five, agree on a time to discuss it. Give the Five time to think about your concern and then limit the length of the conversation.”

Sixes, the Loyalists – Question everything
“Worst-case scenario planning is comforting to Sixes, so take them seriously when they talk to you about the possibility of what could go wrong. Telling them they don’t need to worry and that everything is going to be fine they will feel patronizing, disrespectful, and dismissive. Sixes like friends who are emotionally mature, honest, and not too needy.”

Sevens, the Enthusiasts – It’s all good
“Don’t try to get Sevens to commit to specific routines and schedules. They need spontaneity and flexibility. If you want to share your feelings with a Seven, by all means do that. But do not process your feelings with a Seven. You will need to do that with someone else.”

Eights, the Challengers – Vulnerability is not weakness
“Don’t beat around the bush with Eights: they want communication to be brief, straightforward, and truthful. Be aware that Eights are controlling in relationships simply because they don’t want to be controlled. Even though Eights are strong and assertive, don’t forget that they still need care.”

Nines, the Peacemakers – Risking conflict for connection
“Don’t interrupt Nines when they are talking. Make room for them to meander a bit—they will get to the point. Nines don’t like confrontation, but that doesn’t mean you should never confront them. Encourage Nines to share their grievances with you.”

My thanks to NetGalley for the review copy of this book.

I have recently begun learning about the Enneagram so I was interested to read this book that talks about the interactions between numbers and how you can support friends and family of various numbers. This is helpful if you know the numbers of others. I don't know the numbers of friends and family so this isn't particularly helpful to me at the moment. If someone knew their own number plus those of others, I could see this being a very useful tool.

I received it as an e-book so the formatting of the book was a little off and made some parts hard to read and follow.

The Path Between Us is a great resource for understanding your family, coworkers, friends—really anyone who thinks differently than you! Each chapter focuses on one of the Enneagram types and ends with how the other types view them. It has been really helpful and fun as I’ve talked with my coworkers about the way they think.

(The beginning of the book has a brief description of each enneagram type, but it would be best to take the test before you read this book instead of guessing what yours might be.)

There are a lot of books about the Enneagram lately. This one is valuable in letting us understand interactions with others and between individuals with various personalities.

How do we negotiate individualities in a common space? This examination of the types in the Enneagram will help you understand yourself and others, and how you interact together and separately.

I recommend it, especially if you've been wondering how valuable this look at human characteristics can be.

Suzanne Stabile does a beautiful job of explaining the nine Enneagram types and how they behave in relationships. Highly recommend!

Summary: An orientation to the Enneagram focused on relationships.

The Path Between us is my third book on the enneagram this year. I have been skeptical about the enneagram, but the more I read the more I can see the value of the enneagram as a framework for understanding both yourself and others.

In the end personality tests and psychological models are not really for navel gazing, but for assisting us to become a better people and to related to others better. The Path Between Us has roughly the same summary of the enneagram as The Sacred Enneagram and Mirror for the Soul, but the focus of the three is quite different and I think while not the most introductory, The Path Between us has the right focus of helping the reader related to others well.

Each of the chapters has the same basic format, a description of each of the numbers of the enneagram and several illustrations and quotes about that number. Then a description of how that number relates to other people of different numbers and the same number. There are notes about what numbers work together well and how to overcome common problems between numbers.

The real advantage of the enneagram as a model is that it is focused on health and inherent weakness and strengths. Being a particular number is not determinative of future behavior or an excuse for why someone does not need to change. Built into the conceptual model is the concept of change and growth, while acknowledging that we have been created in a particular way. As the enneagram has gained in popularity there has been push back. Some of the push back is valid as much because of misuse or misunderstanding as much as a weakness of the system.

Like a lot of mental models, the benefit is the structure of the system and that it gives a language to describe the world around us. That model is not reality, but a system to help us understand the reality. If the enneagram does not work for you as a mental model, do not use it. I can see how it can be helpful personally. And I think that like all other personality profiles and relationship models, there are weaknesses.

Of the three books I have read so far, I think this was the most personally beneficial, but like I said on the review of the last one, I am not sure whether this is more because it is more helpful or because I understand the system more. However, the framing of this book as helping the reader to understand how to relate to others well moves the enneagram from personal growth to corporate growth and I think that is helpful.

Studying the Enneagram is a must if you are interested in knowing yourself and personal growth. What Stabile shares is an explanation and a snapshot of each of the nine types as well as an overview of the Enneagram. In this book, you will find examples of real lives to help understand the types. You will also learn how you can grow and change as you understand your own type as well as the types of others you are in relationships with. I highly recommend reading The Path Between Us!

I loved The Road Back To You. It was an excellent primer on the Enneagram and helped me identify my type (finally). While that book does address a bit of how your type interacts with others, I was definitely wishing I had more info on how my being a One would manifest in my marriage, friendships and parenting. This is it!

Suzanne is knowledgeable and gentle in her approach and I am so grateful for the things I learned in The Path Between Us. Learning about the Enneagram is definitely a journey and this is a wise and useful tool to use along the way.

I'm new to the enneagram, but I see it talked about a lot on social media. This book is an excellent introduction with a ton of examples for each personality type. It doesn't have a personality test, but you can find several easily online. You'll start to see yourself, and those around you, with new eyes of understanding after seeing our personality styles broken down by numbers 1-9.

This was a great follow-up to Ian Morgan Cron and Stabile's first book, The Road Back to You. I am still new to the enneagram and learning about myself but I was able to take this this expansion and incorporate it with all I previously learned into my personal relationships. The enneagram is becoming a hot topic these days, and there are so many different sources of information floating around. I feel confident in using Cron and Stabile's expertise and knowledge to help me grow, as they were the pioneers of this personality typing system. I would highly recommend everyone starting with The Road Back To You, though. I felt it was helpful for me to jump into this book because I had already become familiar with their approach. If The Road Back to You is at the 100 level in an academic program, The Path Back to You is the 200 level course. I will use many of the things I learned in my marriage and as I'm interacting with family. This is great stuff!