Tinderbox

One Family's Story of Adoption, Neurodiversity, and Fierce Love

by Lynn Alsup

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Pub Date Sep 12 2023 | Archive Date Sep 03 2023

She Writes Press

Biographies & Memoirs | Nonfiction (Adult)

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Description

Lynn watched her beloved Clare, newly adopted from Haiti, crawl the house in a frantic search for her lost mother.

Preschool Clare enchanted with belly laughs and shining smiles. Also, thrashed and wailed in her room as Lynn crouched on her own bed—pillow clutched over her head—her past trauma triggered. A pre-teen trip to Haiti brought sunshine, ruby red hibiscus blooms, and the music of Haitian Creole. Back at home, Clare shattered mirrors into shards on the subway tiles of their bathroom. And just before her thirteenth birthday, as she and Lynn walked hand in hand through their neighborhood, Clare calmly detailed her plan to die.

Over the next years, Lynn and her family walked through psychiatric hospitals, along the Appalachian Trail, and in and out of residential placements, marriage, faith, and sanity barely surviving the journey. But then Lynn learned about fetal alcohol spectrum disorder (FASD)—a source of neurodivergence in one in twenty American children—and discovered the FASCETS Neurobehavioral Model, a strengths-based approach to celebrating and accommodating neurodiversity. It was a discovery that transformed them all.

At times joyous, at times harrowing, but always full of love, Tinderbox is a mother’s story of brokenness, unrelenting resilience, and hope.

Advance Praise

“What emerges from the experience of reading Tinderbox is the vital importance of community, and the power of understanding as the foundation for acceptance and uncluttered love. I was struck by the depth of Lynn’s courage and candor―showing how theory may be translated into life.”

―Diane V. Malbin, MSW, author of Trying Differently Rather Than Harder and founder of FASCETS, Inc.

“Tinderbox is a sacred gift: honest, vulnerable, humble, and hopeful. Whether your journey has included similar experiences to Lynn and her family or not, Tinderbox is a timely reminder of our shared humanity and our need to care for one another through both the challenges and celebrations of life. Lynn’s writing is compelling, authentic and inviting―I couldn’t put it down once I started. I highly recommend that you create space for this book to become a part of your journey; you will be inspired, challenged, informed, and uplifted.”

―Rev. Sharon Seyfarth Garner, United Methodist pastor, spiritual director, author, and founder of Belly of the Whale Spiritual Direction & Retreat

“I LOVED this book! It’s a story that desperately needs to be heard. Lynn brilliantly captures two decades of her adoption journey. . . . With openness and grace, she shares her spiritual journey and hard-won wisdom. I recommend this book to families and mental health professionals struggling with children’s extreme behaviors.”

―Julia D. Rivera, Esquire, board director of Learning Disabilities Association and cofounder of North TX FASD Network