Modern Friendship

How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections

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Pub Date Jun 04 2024 | Archive Date Jun 25 2024

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Description

From the “New York Times friendship correspondent,” a definitive step-by-step guide to understanding the fundamental mechanics of friendship

Modern friendships can be painfully ambiguous. But they don’t have to be. Journalist Anna Goldfarb has your back. “It’s understandable if your friendships are floundering. You’re up against historically new forces that we, as a culture, have no precedent for navigating,” she says. With Modern Friendship, Anna shares a manual for understanding what is pushing our friendships to the brink and provides actionable advice for forming authentic, enduring connections today.

It’s never been easier to shed friendships, which is precisely why we need a new approach to keeping them strong. Anna argues that we need to update our approach to friendships in a way that accounts for the hyper-fluid society we live in. The key to forming a lasting bond is what Anna calls “Wholehearted Friendship”—proven strategies to enhance enthusiastic connection.

Blending keen insights, cutting-edge social research, and intuitive practical tools, she invites you to explore:

• Why modern friendships are so ambiguous—and how to get clarity
• How desire influences friend selection, why friendships fail, and how to hone your friendship intuition
• Mattering to others—establishing boundaries, being flexible, having fun, and setting up your friendships for success
• Tools for the tough times—exercises, prompts, scripts, and advice on keeping friendships active even when life gets hectic
• Practicing Wholehearted Friendship—how to be caring, curious, appreciative, and supportive to a friend in any situation
• Trying a 14-day Friendship Cleanse—two weeks of actionable advice to clarify your wishes in friendship and strengthen your connections, both old and new

Grasping the mechanics of friendships will liberate you from the prison of self-doubt. “Your friendships are precious. They’re vital. They matter. So let’s understand, cultivate, and harness their incredible power,” says Anna. With Modern Friendship, you’ll discover how to be a more self-assured and empowered friend to the most meaningful people in your life. Let Anna show you how.

From the “New York Times friendship correspondent,” a definitive step-by-step guide to understanding the fundamental mechanics of friendship

Modern friendships can be painfully ambiguous. But they...


Advance Praise

“When Anna Goldfarb writes, she makes you feel as if you’re her dearest friend. You’ll laugh, you’ll be charmed, and you’ll learn so much. In the confusing world of friendship, Modern Friendship is the compass we all need. Read it, and your friends will be thankful you did.” —Marisa G. Franco, PhD, New York Times bestselling author of Platonic

“Light bulb after light bulb appeared over my head as I read Anna Goldfarb’s wise and funny Modern Friendship. For all of us who feel like our friendships are too few, far-flung, or flatlined, her counsel is a decoder ring for deeper, closer relationships. This stuff really works, so do yourself—and your social life—a favor and read this book cover to cover.” —Ellen Hendriksen, PhD, author of How to Be Yourself

“Modern Friendship is poignant, fun, thought provoking, and inspiring. Through a compelling blend of research, real-life anecdotes, and practical advice, Anna Goldfarb provides invaluable insights on the evolving dynamics that define our friendships. Every single one of us would benefit from reading this book and engaging in friend-making with more intention.” —Shasta Nelson, author of Friendships Don’t Just Happen!, Frientimacy, and The Business of Friendship

“When Anna Goldfarb writes, she makes you feel as if you’re her dearest friend. You’ll laugh, you’ll be charmed, and you’ll learn so much. In the confusing world of friendship, Modern Friendship is...


Available Editions

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ISBN 9781649632081
PRICE $28.99 (USD)
PAGES 288

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Average rating from 17 members


Featured Reviews

"Modern Friendship" by Anna Goldfarb stands out as an invaluable resource in the realm of self-help literature. Goldfarb delves into the complexities of sustaining friendships in today's digital era, shedding light on the challenges posed by the internet in nurturing relationships. Rather than leaving readers feeling hopeless about forming deep bonds, Goldfarb provides actionable advice on preserving intimate friendships as well as those with acquaintances. Moreover, she imparts essential skills on becoming an effective communicator and a supportive friend, ensuring readers are equipped to be there for their friends in the most meaningful ways. Thank
you NetGalley and Sounds True for sending this book for review consideration. All opinions are my own.

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"Modern Friendship" by Anna Goldfarb is a surprisingly informative book that is equal parts insightful and conversational. In a busy and mobile society it is easy to become disoriented by the changing nature of relationships. The insight and advice are spot on and practical. There are many suggestions to create opportunities to build friendships and develop more "friendquaintances." It’s a solid book that offers more than the title suggests.

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Modern Friendship by Anna Goldfarb is a great book on the power of friendships. It not only takes a view at friendships as a whole but also gives practical advice on how to keep those friendships thriving.

This book was a breath of fresh air for myself. I don’t have many significant friendships but the ones I have a cherish. This book taught me ways to keep those friendships alive with just a little effort.

I would recommend this book to anyone who cares about their friendships with others.

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I found this a very interesting and thought-provoking book to read. I think that as an adult in today's society, it can be difficult to manage and maintain friendships. For me personally, it can be difficult to discern the difference between friends and acquaintances. I'm also often torn between wanting to reach out to others, and waiting for them to reach out to me. Life gets in the way, sometimes people drift apart, and it's not always easy to determine which connections are worth fighting for.

This book highlights why friendship is important, why we feel the need to form and maintain friendships, as well as offering lots of advice, and some interesting exercises to try. It's quite in-depth, and n some ways, it felt quite intense to read, because much of its content resonated quite deeply with me. At the same time though, it felt like a comfort, a reassurance, and I'd say it's definitely worth a read.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for a free copy to review.

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📖 31 / 100 in 2024
✍️ Non-Fiction (Relationships)
⭐️ 4 stars

Modern Friendship by Anna Goldfarb

for readers who enjoy ....

real-life stories, life-affirming friendships, giving themselves compassion over unanswered text messages, self-reflection, the important roles we play in each others’ lives, conscious communication, and fabulous friend dates

In a world where we aren’t taught relationship maintenance, books like this come in and fill the gaps. As I read Modern Friendship, I was invited to think deeply about my existing relationships and what opportunities I have to act as a friendship mentor for the young people in my life. The examples within the book complemented the information well and were paired with insightful and practical advice.

As someone who fits into the category of chapter 3 (having 100 friends but feeling like you have 0 friends) this book felt supportive and reassuring. I found it interesting to explore the societal reasons for the shifts in our friendships through this book as well as think about new ways forward. Funny and relatable without being preachy, I recommend this book to everyone who’s made a friend, kept a friend, or had a friend, sooo… all of us.

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Where do I begin with this book? I love a good book about some of the most important and interesting relationships in our lives. I’ve read a lot on romantic and familial relationships, but friendship, that's the foundation of it all, that’s what life’s made of. Friendship teaches us so much and makes our lives so vibrant.

I was fortunate enough to be surrounded by friends that supported my reflective and activity journey through this book. In fact, very early on in the book, I sent a quote to some friends that I miss and it immediately resulted in such lovely conversation and emotion but also actual plans to catch up instead of just saying we should.

I appreciated the activities throughout this book, especially after having recently read and worked through Ury’s How to Not Die Alone and the Gottman Institute's The Love Prescription.

I'm looking forward to continuing to be more intentional with the relationships in my life. If you’ve been looking for a sign to reach out to someone, here’s your sign to do it, make it intentional, and don’t be offended if the answer is no. Try again later or try with someone else. We’re all human seeking our own kinds of connection.

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I am not sure the last time I read something I have wanted to put into more hands when I finished. This is an excellent book on friendship. It explains the current setting and the difficulties people face creating meaningful connections. There is research and theory, all carefully documented for those wanting to dig further. Which is great. Super helpful. Even more helpful though, are the practical suggestions for next steps. It is all well and good to understand the challenges to modern friendship, but most of us already have a general idea of the problems. We experience them every day. Anna Goldfarb tells us what to do about them. This book is part investigative journalism and part workbook. There are probing questions to ask yourself. And concrete lists of things to do: scripts to practice and use, goal setting exercises, even a 14-day friendship cleanse! Thank you to the author, Sounds True, and NetGalley for the eARC.

If you find yourself struggling to create and maintain the friendships you crave, Modern Friendship is a life-giving guide to help you understand the challenges and craft solutions that are practical, doable, and actually work.

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The title and the blurb of this book make me want to read more. I think, this book would give me the answer of this weird feeling of adult friendship.

It did give me the understanding I need.

I don't know where to start, but this book is really amazing. Anna Goldfarb described what have happened within our modern society--with moving a lot and hustling culture--it all makes sense why I often feel like I don't have close friend. From Part 1 to Part 2 of Modern Friendship, I got new insights why friendship break up is possible to happen to me with easy-to-chew explanation. Finally in Part 3, Anna asked us, the Initiator to cultivate genuine friendship, start from genuine invitation to connect to each other.

I really recommend the book for everyone in their 30s or higher, who get confuse on why the circle (of friendship) is getting smaller and sometimes we feel lonely.

I can not wait this book to published. I would like to buy for myself so I can re-read it over time whenever I need guidance.
Thank you Netgalley for the opportunity!

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I thought this was really well written and I look forward to reading more from this author in the future. I think it will find readers at our library, so we will definitely be purchasing for the collection.

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Thank you to #NetGalley for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review! This book publishes in June 4, 2024.

What to expect in this book:

-Tangible, practical advice
-Research and evidence based practices
-Exercises to increase confidence in friendship
-Anecdotes and experiences
-Empathy and compassion

Thoughts

As a mental health therapist, I speak with individuals about adult friendships daily. We are not formally educated or even sometimes informally taught how to navigate friendships from a young age, so when we become adult and life gets much more complicated and busy, it is even more of a challenge to prioritize and manage connection with others, connections we so desperately need. This book was such a complete breath of fresh air. This book is the perfect manifesto to WHY we need friends, HOW to go about acquiring and keeping friends, and HOW to be a better friend ourselves. I do not think I have ever highlighted a book so much in my life. I kept nodding, feeling so encouraged and seen as I read through the pages thinking about how beneficial this will be for all readers, not just women.

There are millions of books on romantic relationships and marriage, but I not nearly as much produced on platonic relationships. We need to know how to nurture these connections and more importantly, how to operate as friends ourselves. In such a digital age where everything and everyone is vying for our time and attention, it is easy to lose track of what is important. Anna's honesty and vulnerability shine in this work as she relates her own stories and friendship struggles, outlining how to reframe and rework our past mistakes (and maybe current!) to benefit our future selves. This book felt like getting coffee with a friend. It was so tender but so poignant as well. I already know that I will be recommending this book to all of my own friends and clients as well.

One of the most human things that we can do is to let other people in and to let ourselves be seen. I am so grateful that this author did this for us and has invited us to do the same as readers and as friends ourselves. I highly suggest this book to all readers, even those who are not normally non-fiction readers. It is an easy read and not one you have to be a scholar for (like some self-help books can be!). I am so grateful I received an advance copy of this! Be on the lookout for this in June.

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This book is pure gold! I didn’t know I needed to read it THAT much! I knew I WANTED TO read it when I saw it, but turns out I NEEDED IT.
I have been thinking about friendships a lot lately, and then this book came along, with its validating stories, and in-depth and thought-provoking insights. Loved it!

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Modern Friendship offers readers something important: Validation. Friendships are tough, especially these days when we are all working various shifts, living all around the country, and exist in different stages of life (some are parents, others haven't left their parents house yet.) Despite knowing how difficult it can be to make and keep friends in the modern era from personal experience, nobody has come out and said it like Anna Goldfarb..

I found topics like why friendships fail and being flexible to be the most useful and practical and there is so much more that it's likely you'll find something useful among all the exercises, prompts, and opportunities to reflect.

The discussion seemed to wander toward the second half of the book and a couple times I had to go back to read a section because I wasn't sure how I got there after a quick transition. All in all, this is worth the read as it's light, funny, relatable, and validating.

Thanks to Sounds True Publishing for a copy via NetGalley.

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I highlighted about a hundred different passages in this book, and I found that a LOT of it resonated with me. It dissects the idea of modern friendships and provides actionable tips and techniques for honoring and maximizing the joy that you get from your friendships. It's harder than ever to make new friends as an adult, and this book was a really great and eye-opening way of looking at modern friendships.

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