This Far
My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light
by Allison Holker
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Pub Date Feb 04 2025 | Archive Date Not set
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Description
“A celebration of the healing power of family and dance, Holker’s memoir shows how to heal from tragedy without wrapping everything up in a neat bow.” – Library Journal
In this candid and emotional memoir, Allison Holker opens up about her incredible dance career, her relationship with Stephen “tWitch” Boss, and the resilience that has carried her forward after his death.
Allison Holker was just eighteen when she found fame as a contestant on the reality TV show So You Think You Can Dance. Over the next several years, she had her first child, built a successful career as a professional dancer despite the industry being hostile to working moms, and fell in love with and married fellow dancer Stephen Boss, the former hype man and DJ of The Ellen DeGeneres Show known for his charisma and relentless positivity. Two more children and a wealth of professional opportunities for both Allison and Stephen followed, and the Bosses appeared to be one of the great Hollywood love stories.
Then, in December 2022, Stephen took his own life, leaving Allison to wrestle with unanswered questions, haunting what-ifs, and the heartbreaking realization that Stephen’s infectious joy was hiding pain, addictions, and self-doubt deeper than anyone knew.
For the first time, Allison reveals how she has navigated the emotional and financial aftermath of Stephen’s choice, guided their three children in their grief while managing the outpouring from a well-meaning public, and reopened herself to the next chapter in her professional and personal life. A beacon of hope and comfort for anyone experiencing grief—especially unexpected loss due to suicide—Allison’s story is an honest reflection on the pain of looking back on a complicated life and the resilience required to move into the future.
Available Editions
EDITION | Other Format |
ISBN | 9781400248940 |
PRICE | $29.99 (USD) |
PAGES | 240 |
Available on NetGalley
Featured Reviews
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A very poignant look at suicide and the effects on family afterwards. Allison's book has made news recently and I was very interested to hear her story. I enjoyed the first half of the book and her reflection on building her career and family. The second part of the book was a reflection of Stephen's death and her path forward. This was a heavy book but I was glad to read her story.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC.
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I understand why this book upsets so many, but this is her grief journey. She’s expressing her feelings on everything which is valid, whether people like it or not.
This was so heavy but so brave to share.
The pain, the anger, the strength as a mother- Allison perfectly captures heartbreak and loss but also hope and moving forward. This story broke me when it first broke, I loved Twitch. It’s truly beautiful to hear her story of grief but also motherhood and overcoming heartbreak. Forever an Allison fan.
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Ignore what the magazines and tabloids say about Allison and read this book! Allison wrote a brave telling of her family’s journey in life, love, experiencing unfathomable tragedy and hope for the future. All who followed their careers felt somewhat invested in them and were deeply saddened by the choice Stephen made. She shares deeply and with sensitivity his personal history and recreational habits in a way you understand she is not exploiting this but trying hard to understand and have his story help others.
Someone close to me several decades ago took their life and her reflections were similar to mine and other family members. It is a tough topic to openly discuss that you can love and admire someone yet strongly disagree with their final act. I wish all good things for her and their children and hope many read or listen to her story to deepen their own understanding of this topic and the unknowing struggles loved ones may face.
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This was a very poignant read to explore Allison's journey and for her to be open about her grief and her resilience was very powerful.
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As i got approved today the day before release i loved it. She poured into this book not to downplay she told HER story. It is heavy but i couldn’t put it down im so proud of her for her bravery
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This book is a love story about dance, family, and her husband, but it also addresses difficult themes. In it, Alison candidly shares glimpses into her life with Stephen "tWitch" Boss, highlighting his struggles and the profound impact his death had on her and their loved ones. Due to the heavy subject matter, I intended to read this book slowly and take my time with it. However, I found it impossible to put down. Alison writes as if she is speaking directly to her friends, and her approachable style makes her relatable.
I commend Alison's bravery in writing this book, especially considering her family is in the public eye. I can only imagine how much harder it is to be vulnerable to the world, as people are quick to judge. Despite this challenge, she has succeeded in creating a book that is truly worth reading.
I receive complimentary books for various sources, including Netgalley, Authors, and other such sources. I am not required to write a positive review and have not received compensation.
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I read this book in about 1.5 days. I was blown away by Allison’s honesty, rawness and the way she laid her soul bare. I felt like she was totally reclaiming the narrative of it all and while she didn’t own any of us any explanation she told her story and what she went through. It was also eye opening of what to say and not to say to people when they are grieving but also that things and people aren’t always what they seem.
I cannot wait for the rest of the world to read this story. I am sure others will see symptoms and characteristics, of what she saw in Stephen, in their loved ones and will be alert to that after reading this book.
I will definitely be suggesting this book to others.
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