So Gay for You

Friendship, Found Family, and the Show That Started It All

You must sign in to see if this title is available for request. Sign In or Register Now
Send NetGalley books directly to your Kindle or Kindle app

1
To read on a Kindle or Kindle app, please add kindle@netgalley.com as an approved email address to receive files in your Amazon account. Click here for step-by-step instructions.
2
Also find your Kindle email address within your Amazon account, and enter it here.
Pub Date Jun 03 2025 | Archive Date Jun 17 2025

Description

An intimate, hilarious memoir of art, friendship, queerness, and found family by Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey, stars of The L Word—including never-before-shared stories and photos from behind the scenes of the show and their personal lives.

"Are you comfortable with nudity?" my manager asked.

In the early 2000s, Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey—both young artists trying to figure it all out—met at auditions for an unknown little TV show. Given that it was a show about lesbians living in Los Angeles, with the first ever ensemble cast of openly queer female characters, Kate and Leisha knew the project was going to be unlike anything else out there—that is, if it even got picked up.

Then, one million people watched the premiere. The show, which came to be called The L Word, turned into a trailblazing phenomenon. Its influence on pop culture, in the political arena, and in the lives of viewers has been lasting, impactful, even life-saving. And in addition to changing the course of television history, The L Word changed Kate and Leisha's lives forever.

From their first day on set, Kate and Leisha have always had each other’s backs, inseparable to the degree that the cast joked they were like a pair of pants—you couldn't have one leg without the other. Hence the name for their branded partnership, PANTS, launched in 2020, and accompanying podcast, which has been downloaded over twenty million times.

This friendship has seen Kate and Leisha through their greatest triumphs and most painful moments, stumbling from closeted queer kids in a hostile culture, to LGBTQ+ activists, actors, podcasters, and business owners. Full of never-before-shared glimpses into the making of The L Word, Kate and Leisha's real-life loves and losses, and their experience as queer icons, So Gay for You is a heartfelt, inspiring love letter to a ride or die friendship over the decades, and a testament to the liberating power of chosen family.

An intimate, hilarious memoir of art, friendship, queerness, and found family by Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey, stars of The L Word—including never-before-shared stories and photos from behind the...


Available Editions

EDITION Other Format
ISBN 9781250361363
PRICE $32.00 (USD)
PAGES 256

Available on NetGalley

NetGalley Reader (EPUB)
NetGalley Shelf App (EPUB)
Send to Kindle (EPUB)
Download (EPUB)

Average rating from 19 members


Featured Reviews

This book is a must-read for fans of The L Word. Told by Leisha Hailey (Alice) and Kate Moennig (Shane) , who are dear friends in real life, they share their upbringings and early life stories but mostly focus on their years shooting The L Word. For both of them, it provided family each never had and was instumental in their own growth as women.

Leisha was a musician before an actress, and always yearned to play more music once her commitment to the series began. The series was mostly filmed in Vancouver B.C., so much of each woman's life during those years was spent commuting and living a personal life at home in LA and a Company life in Vancouver. It sounds like most of the actors got along famously and spent most of their down time together.

There are breakups, deaths, hard decisions to be made by both throughout the book but Leisha and Kate always have each others' backs. The soul searching the questions left unanswered are poignant.

Thanks to NetGalley for the eARC.

Was this review helpful?

I saw this book and immediately needed to read it! It didn’t disappoint. It was funny and heartwarming, 2 of my favorite characters from the L Word. It was great getting a peak inside their life before the show. I love their podcast and this book is perfection!

Was this review helpful?

Reading this book was like being wrapped up in a warm hug. Moennig & Hailey do a great job of balancing their personal back story's and behind the scenes look at The L Word. These two humans have has such a hand in my coming out and it was great to get to know them beyond Alice & Shane. Overall, this books boils down to joy and friendship, it is fresh, nostalgic, and SO hard to put down.

Thank you so much for this arc, easily was my most anticipated read of the year! 5 stars.

Was this review helpful?

My little queer heart ❤️

The L Word was my gay awakening. Carmen and Shane. Carmen specifically. Really helped me with coming out and accepting my sexuality. I watched it at such a young age, and I’d love to watch it back again as I’ve aged and grown.

This book is special, getting to know the ins and outs of Leishas and Kate’s life. Before during and after the show.
Finding out little secrets -like I didn’t know it was filmed in my hometown!

It was just super cool to learn new things about them and about the show and I really enjoyed my time reading it.
Thank you netgalley for allowing me to read this in advanced in exchange for my honest opinion

Was this review helpful?

Before I get into my review of “So Gay For You”, I’d like to thank NetGalley and St. Martin’s Press for the ARC!

As a longtime fan of “The L Word” and a listener of “Pants” the podcast, I was beyond excited when “So Gay For You” was announced. Before beginning this book, I had extremely high expectations and all of those expectations were met.

Listening to Kate and Leisha’s stories of growing up gay and discovering their identities was very inspiring and intriguing to read about. The stories of “The L Word” both on and off screen had me feeling a multitude of different emotions with every page. This inspiring memoir made me feel emotions I haven’t felt in years.

I’ve already recommended this book to many friends of mine, some gay, some straight, some long time followers of Leisha and Kate, and some that have never seen the show at all.

This was a beautiful read and I cannot wait to see what Kate and Leisha do next.

Was this review helpful?

If you're a fan of the L Word, then this is the book for you. Full of interesting commentary on both Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey's lives as well as behind the scenes looks at both the L Word and it's reboot.

Thanks, NetGalley, for the ARC.

Was this review helpful?

If you are or were a fan of the show The L Word, you must read this book!
I loved the show and reading this book( by two of the women who were in the show), made me want to watch all the seasons in the show!
I would highly recommend this for all those who loved The L Word!
I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Was this review helpful?

I absolutely devoured I’m So Gay for You! Leisha Hailey and Kate Moennig have this effortless, chaotic chemistry that translates perfectly to the page. It’s hilarious, unfiltered, and full of the kind of banter that makes you feel like you’re eavesdropping on two best friends who are just a little too comfortable oversharing. The stories are ridiculous in the best way—equal parts endearing and unhinged—and I laughed out loud more times than I can count. If you love them, you’ll love this book. If you don’t know them yet, you’re about to fall in love.

Was this review helpful?

I have been an L Word fanatic since day #1 of the original series. I even went on the L Word cruise the authors discuss in this book, which made this a super fun read.

The book gave lots of insights into what the show was like behind the scenes and also gave the reader a brief bio of each of the actors, most notably, their coming out processes. I liked the she said/she said format used throughout, which gave each author a chance to give their side of each topic.

I wish someone had thought of a book like this sooner! It really makes me miss the show.

Was this review helpful?

Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey’s *So Gay for You* is a heartfelt, hilarious, and deeply insightful memoir that will captivate both longtime fans of *The L Word* and newcomers alike. Through a mix of personal stories, behind-the-scenes revelations, and a celebration of their enduring friendship, Moennig and Hailey offer an intimate glimpse into their journeys as queer artists navigating Hollywood. Their writing is candid and engaging, filled with the same wit and charm that made them beloved figures on screen. From their first meeting at auditions to their present-day adventures as actors, podcasters, and LGBTQ+ advocates, the memoir beautifully captures the transformative power of friendship and the importance of chosen family.

For fans of The L Word, this is a must-read, offering never-before-shared anecdotes that shed new light on the show’s impact both behind the scenes and in the broader cultural landscape. Moennig and Hailey’s reflections on the challenges and triumphs of queer representation in media are both poignant and inspiring, making this memoir as meaningful as it is entertaining. Whether reminiscing about their early days on set or exploring the personal milestones that shaped their lives, the duo’s bond shines through on every page. With humor, honesty, and an undeniable warmth, *So Gay for You* is a joyful and moving tribute to friendship, authenticity, and the enduring legacy of queer storytelling.

Was this review helpful?

I remember as a teen struggling that I couldn't really find lesbian representation of people that looked like me in media. As a brown skinned femme, I knew I was queer but didn't know what that really would look like when I was older. Just after I finished high school I remember finding the first season of The L Word in a bargain bin at a shop, and I bought it after reading the synopsis. I remember the way I felt watching those early episodes and how amazed I was that there was a program and community out there of queer women. It was life changing.

Flash forward nearly 20 years and although I'm no longer that die hard L word fan, I was intrigued to read more about Leisha and Kate from their own perspectives. I wasn't really sure what to expect from this book, but I really enjoyed it.

Kate and Leisha’s distinct voices come through strongly, and I loved the way they wrote this. It's like chatting with a friend or two while getting a sneaky behind the scenes viewpoint on their love lives, early lives and their career. Leisha's humour and honesty shone through particularly, but it's also packed full of their nostalgia of their time on the show.

I particularly liked that they don’t shy away from the show’s flaws, openly discussing the missteps while also celebrating its groundbreaking impact. Their stories about the audition process, filming, and the industry’s evolution over the years add depth beyond just reminiscing. It’s refreshing to see them be so candid, both about the show and about their own growth as individuals and friends.

At its core, So Gay For You is a love letter to queer friendship, highlighting the kind of bond that transcends time, distance, and career changes. Kate and Leisha’s relationship is so full of affection, teasing, and mutual respect that it’s impossible not to smile while reading. Whether you’re a die-hard The L Word fan or just someone who enjoys reading about strong, supportive friendships, this book is a delight from start to finish. I really enjoyed it.

Many thanks to Netgalley and St. Martin's Press for a copy of this novel. ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.

Was this review helpful?

Readers who liked this book also liked: