For fans of David Sedaris and Dave Eggers, a very funny book about very unfunny things.

"The funniest thing I've ever read - profane, self-aware, and ruthlessly honest. Dan Marshall might be a self-described spoiled white jerk, but he's also a depraved comedic genius." (Justin St. Germain, author of SON OF A GUN)

"Horrible. Hysterical. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Just like life." (Jenny Lawson, New York Times bestselling author of LET'S PRETEND THIS NEVER HAPPENED)

Dan's mom has always had cancer. First diagnosed when he was only ten years old, she was the model of resilience throughout his childhood, fighting her disease with tenacity and a mouth foul enough to make a sailor blush. But just as she faces a relapse, her husband is diagnosed with ALS. Dan, a recent college graduate living the good life in Los Angeles, has no choice but to return home to help.

Reinstalled in his parents' basement Dan is reunited with his siblings. His older sister Tiffany is resentful, having stayed closer to home to bear the brunt of their mother's illness. Younger brother Greg comes to lend a hand, giving up a journalism career and evenings cruising Chicago gay bars. Michelle, a sullen teenager is experimenting with drinking and flirting with her 35-year-old soccer coach. And baby sister Chelsea-the oddest duck in a family of misfits- lives in a dream world centered around dance. Together this unlikely group forms Team Terminal, going to battle against their parents' illnesses, and occasionally each other. Not even the family cats escape unscathed.

As Dan steps into his role as caregiver, wheelchair wrangler, and sibling referee, he watches pieces of his previous life slip away, and comes to realize that you don't get to choose when it's time to grow up.