The Gospel Comes with a House Key

When I read Openness Unhindered, I was intrigued by the chapter of hospitality and desires to know more. I feel like Butterfield expands on this subject in an honest and practical way. I would recommend this to anyone looking to expand their lives in the way of “radically ordinary hospitality.” It just might be worth the ride.

I love the title of this book and the imagery it invokes: The Gospel Comes With a House Key: Practicing Radically Ordinary Hospitality in Our Post-Christian World. Rosaria Butterfield writes about her lifestyle of hospitality, setting an example that Christians can emulate. Butterfield, who is married to a pastor, goes far beyond traditional pastor's wife hostess duties. She hosts a large dinner in her home every Sunday night for friends and neighbors. Her model is not fine china and carefully placed table settings. Her model is what she calls radically ordinary hospitality: "using your Christian home in a daily way that seeks to make strangers neighbors, and neighbors family of God."


The Gospel Comes With a House Key is full of stories of her life as a neighbor and hostess. She plans ahead while keeping the meals simple and plentiful. She writes about adopting foster children, befriending the drug addict across the street (and maintaining that friendship after he goes to prison), dealing with the burglary and vandalism of their home, hosting a home worship service for the neighbors when the churches close because of snow, and providing a haven for the sick and wandering.


One miraculously odd part of Butterfield's story is her background. While she was a liberal college professor, living with her lesbian lover, a pastor invited her to his home fellowship. Over time, this family and their circle loved her into the kingdom. She was radically saved. Ironically, some of her model of fellowship is based on her experiences in the lesbian community, as they banded together in a hostile world. But just as lesbians like to fellowship with their own kind, so do Christians tend to fellowship with like-minded people. Radically ordinary hospitality reaches out, giving our "post-Christian neighbors" a chance to "hear and see and taste and feel authentic Christianity, hospitality spreading from every Christian home that includes neighbors in prayer, food, friendship, childcare, dog walking, and all the daily matters upon which friendships are based."


Butterfield's stories and example inspire and challenge me to open the doors of my home and pass out some house keys. She doesn't provide a lot of "how-tos" but, like a true disciple maker, models hospitality for us. In doing so, she never loses sight of the goal: bringing people close to God. It's not without cost or hardship, but worth the effort. Making the "transition from stranger to neighbor to family does not happen naturally but only with intent and grit and sacrifice and God's blessing." May our homes become places of radically ordinary hospitality for the glory of God and the growth of his kingdom.


Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!

*I received a free copy of this book from the publisher video #netgalley in exchange for an honest review

I have been looking forward to reading this book; first, because the author is one I’ve admired from afar ever since I read her first book, Confessions of an Unlikely Convert; second, because hospitality is a ministry dear to my heart. I had high expectations for this book; and sadly, it slightly disappoints. Perhaps I’m being nit picky and I apologize if I sound harsh, but I need to give my honest review.

I’m not sure if this is promoted as such, but it is part memoir, part theology lesson, part christian living kind of book. Interwoven are the theological basis, biblical illustrations and personal story about hospitality. Mrs. Butterfield is a good writer and could very well be the most qualified to talk about hospitality, but I still find issues in the book that I cannot give it a 5-Star rating.

These issues are not theological in nature, so I can still in good conscience recommend the book. For sure, it is highly engaging, saturated with Scripture, and convicting to the core. I’ve had to stop several times to repent for past sins in the area of hospitality and pray for God’s grace to help me a better hostess.

I cried reading about her tumultuous relationship with her mother. I especially love that she encourages us to not idolize safety and security, something American Christians are obsessed with. We need to live our ordinary lives radically and one way we do that is through hospitality. Here are some favorite quotes:

I know I can’t save anyone. Jesus alone saves, and all I do is show up. Show up we must.

Radically ordinary hospitality is this: using your Christian home in a daily way that seeks to make strangers neighbors, and neighbors family of God. It brings glory to God, serves others, and lives out the gospel in word and deed.

Christians must learn to practice radically ordinary hospitality not only as the hosts of this world but, perhaps more importantly, as its despised guests. Let’s face it: we have become unwelcome guests in this post-Christian world.

God calls us to make sacrifices that hurt so that others can be served and maybe even saved. We are called to die. Nothing less.

The job of an ally makes the cross lighter, not by erecting or supporting laws that oppose God’s law, but by being good company in the bearing of its weight.

Now for the disappointing parts...here are just a few:

Perhaps this is unavoidable when writing a memoir, and I have a sensitivity to humble-bragging because of my own pride problems, but I find her constant use of her own personal triumphs in hospitality as a little irksome. I don’t want to judge her motives, but it gets old when I read one hospitable act by the author after another. She did use other people’s examples, but it’s mostly about her and her family’s sacrifice and good works. This is especially interesting because she talks highly of her husband who would not “tarnish by bragging about it (one’s coming to faith through their hospitality) on a blog post or on Facebook. Kent is a Christian man. Christian men do not steal glory from God. This is the kind of news that moves mountains, something to be addressed in the sacred moment of table fellowship.”

Her schedule seems unmaintainable. Doing intentional ministry every day could exhaust even the most devoted Christian. As a minister’s wife, I understand that being in full-time ministry is a 24/7 kind of job, and opportunities to serve could come at any moment. But her way is to have something planned every day. Maybe these are assumed, but I ask her, When does she devote time alone with her husband? When does she foster one on one time with her kids? It is hard to imagine she has time for them just by reading about her schedule.

One of the characters she mentions in the book is Hank who starts as a grumpy neighbor and becomes a friend. Later on, it is found out he was leading a secret criminal life. I understand and admire the author’s compassion for her friend, but her intent focus on this made her question the fairness of his incarceration, made her forget his serious crimes that hurt a lot of people. His sins are somewhat downplayed. Yes, as a Christian, he has been forgiven, but he still has to face the consequences of his sins.

She quotes and uses as a good example a Catholic priest who “regarded hospitality as a spiritual movement, one that is possible only when loneliness finds its spiritual refreshment in solitude, when hostility resolves itself in hospitality, and when illusion is manifested in prayer.” This sounds mystical and, as an ex-Catholic, I seriously have an issue promoting any of them.

I found two typos: principal when she meant principle, tails instead of tales.

In this challenging, thought-provoking book, Rosaria Butterfield examines the concept of Christian hospitality. This book reads much like a memoir, full of the author's personal stories and illustrations as both a recipient and a giver of hospitality. I think The Gospel Comes with a House Key successfully shows the integral nature of hospitality to the Christian faith, while simultaneously illustrating practical ways that Christians can be hospitable. Certainly, no one can doubt the effect that faith-filled hospitality can have on our neighbors and the world in which we live! I was convicted of my need to show more hospitality to others. While I would perhaps have liked more scripture and more of a systematic look at the topic of hospitality, this book is still an excellent and helpful resource. I can recommend it to any Christian who aspires to the biblical pattern of loving those around us.

I received a digital copy of this book for free from the publisher and was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I express in this review are entirely my own.

Sanctification is work, not an act. We grow in sanctification over a lifetime in union with Christ, of denying ourselves, of taking up the cross, of following Christ. We grow in knowledge of God when we read our bible in the way God intends - as an inerrant, inspired, authoritative, unified revelation. Image-bearing the knowledge of God means that we lean into the cross and not ourselves. There is always a battle between cross carrying and doing what feels best to us. Hospitality is a sanctification at work.

Rosairia Butterfield and her family practice radical hospitality. They budget for it, they plan for it, and they are intentional about it. It is a way of practicing and displaying the gospel. I would not call this text a resource, I think it way more than that but a testimony of the power of God and blessing of hospitality. Hospitality is not easy and many times it is messy. Butterfield centers her family practice in the friendship of a neighbor that was later busted for meth lab. Her neighbor kept to himself and way from the Butterfield, however, they developed a friendship in spite of that. They found common ground in a dog. There was no bible pounding but an invitation. There was no condemnation but there was compassion. How many times when we watch the news and we think or say out loud, they deserve to go to jail and to throw away the key. The Butterfield believe everyone should know the gospel - the Good news of Christ.

There were two chapters that impacted me in this much needed study of hospitality. One was on the care of her mother as she was in hospice. Her mother a proud atheist and a strong feminist always thought of Rosaria of being weak. It is those very words that her mother begin to receive Christ. In our weakness, (in death, sin, our depression)we can lean into Christ for his strength. Dying she realized her weakness. It was there all along but death has a way of confronting you with that weakness. This chapter had me in tears. It was tender and honest and I appreciated Rosaria sharing it with her readers. Rosaria also shared about her past. Growing up in her family, her life in LBQT and the impact LBQT has on hospitality. It can put many Christians to shame.

The other chapter was on Judas. There is a Judas hidden among us and could be us. Judas is only found in the church. An environment that is ripe for Judas is consumerism. Judas thought himself to more merciful than God. That Christ had failed him. "He missed the core lesson, a heart broken by Jesus asks the Lord to make him godly, not bless his natural desires. A heart broken by Jesus prays, Lord make me yours, not Lord, give me what I want."

There are many things that keep us from hospitality. Fear and to keep the status quo. Butterfield expresses the dynamic of family. The gender roles and how they maintain a healthy environment for hospitality. I think it is important that before hospitality can be expressed outside the home, we must be practicing inside the home. Hospitality is a family effort and will not work if the family is not on the same page. Hospitality is a mission that we all can do. If you are in family that would not practice this, you can practice hospitality in other ways. Butterfield does stress a counterfeit hospitality vs a Godly hospitality.

I highly recommend all Christians read this because hospitality is the gospel. We see people as made in the image of God practicing hospitality. We do not think better of ourselves practicing hospitality, and we pursue the heart of God in hospitality. A nearness of God.

A Special Thank You to Crossway Publishing and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review.

“Radically ordinary hospitality is this: using your Christian home in a daily way that seeks to make strangers neighbors, and neighbors family of God” (location 294).
When I started this book, the author seemed too perfect. When she described opening up her home EVERY DAY for people to stop in for meals or to stay overnight, I pegged her for some mutant super-Christian woman. I thought to myself I can’t ever imagine being at this point in our hospitality. I feel like we have opened our home quite a bit but this lady’s home ….wow…over the top. HOWEVER, I kept reading. I’m glad I did.
She started talking about her own history and her own very real struggles and trials and how her life was forever changed when a couple showed her regular, ordinary hospitality and the love of Jesus. She shared lots of stories of opening her home and her family’s lives up to people in their neighborhood and how relationships grew deep over bowls of soup. It is very compelling in a world that is increasingly solitary as people have relationships over technology instead of in-person. She readily admits that it isn’t always easy having people over. She recognizes the cost in terms of energy, emotions, time, and finances.
She also made it clear that hospitality in my home may not look like hospitality in her home. She told of a friend who didn’t know where to start so she invited a few neighbors over to do something she enjoyed with her. She cautioned that in a husband-wife team, the pace of the hospitality needs to be set by the one who feels the most weak. I appreciated all these things. She encouraged me to just start somewhere…to take a step of faith and look for ways to deepen relationships with the people around us. I ended the book feeling encouraged to grow in my hospitality.
Here’s another point she made that really made me think. “Not everyone can come to Christ in the fullness of life–while the world, the flesh, and the Devil are raging and strong. But anyone led by the Spirit can come to Christ on the deathbed, when the flesh is weak” (location 1944). While I believe God can save a soul at any point, I get what she’s saying. We are a fiercely independent people who don’t like to recognize our need for help, much less our need for a Savior. However, when we’re sick and in trouble, we’re much more open. If we’re going to reach people in these tough situations, we need to be there, going through these days with them. Again, it was very compelling to me.
I would highly recommend this book. It challenged me and encouraged me. It gave lots of practical ideas. It was full of faith-building stories and examples. It painted a picture of messy people getting involved with other messy people and it was beautiful.
Thank you to Crossway for providing me a free e-copy of this book. I was not required to leave a positive review. All opinions are my own.