More Than Two, Second Edition

Cultivating Nonmonogamous Relationships with Kindness and Integrity

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Pub Date Sep 02 2024 | Archive Date Nov 30 2024
Hazel Boydell | Thornapple Press

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Description

“ Can you love more than one person?” A lot of conversations about nonmonogamy start this way. When we discuss “opening” relationships, contemplate whether we want to be exclusive with our partners, or introduce multiple partners to friends and family, we are asking the people in our lives, and ourselves, to contend with this question. The answer is obvious, and misleading. The love one feels in their heart and the love one expresses through daily acts of care and affection are both “love” in the true sense, but they have different requirements, present different options and produce different outcomes. More Than Two can’ t promise outcomes, but it is a guide to the paths— from anchor or nesting partnerships to relationship anarchy— possible within nonmonogamy.

This long-awaited second edition bridges emerging theories on attachment and relationship diversity with authors Eve Rickert and Andrea Zanin’ s insight and experience. The arcs of nonmonogamous partnerships bend towards complexity, introspection and compromise— or at least they can, if we work at it.

“ Can you love more than one person?” A lot of conversations about nonmonogamy start this way. When we discuss “opening” relationships, contemplate whether we...


Advance Praise

“In place of dominant and oppressive-for-so-many relationship norms, Eve Rickert and Andrea Zanin offer abundant possibilities that not only disrupt those norms, but that better meet the desires, needs, skills, and life conditions of the individual humans who are trying to love and relate as best we can in this challenging world.”—from the foreword by Dr. Kim TallBear, Professor and Canada Research Chair in Indigenous Peoples, Technoscience and Society at the University of Alberta and the author of The Critical Polyamorist.


More Than Two was a pivotal resource for me in the beginning of my nonmonogamy journey, and I am thrilled that a second edition is now available. Eve and Andrea's desire to create a resource that is practical, compassionate, conscientious, aware, educational, kind, and loving can be felt on every page and in every word. I am beyond excited to discover how this edition impacts me as a more mature nonmonogamous person and that it exists as a resource to aid a new generation of nonmonogamous persons."—Evita "Lavitaloca" Sawyers, nonmonogamy educator and author of A Polyamory Devotional



More Than Two was intensely formative in my polyamory journey. The second edition keeps the practical throughline that makes the book effective and unique while adding even more depth and compassion. While we all carve our own paths and learn experientially, More Than Two, Second Edition is an indispensable guide through the terrain of nonmonogamy.”—Shay Tiziano, author of Tying & Flying and Creating Captivating Classes


"While More Than Two was always highly regarded, it was time for an update to adjust for the way the landscape has changed in the last decade. More Than Two, Second Edition more than meets the need."—Kevin A. Patterson, M.Ed, author of Love's Not Color Blind and the For Hire series


​​“Rickert and Zanin accomplish a tricky task, discussing an often-misunderstood topic in a direct but respectful manner. Without holding nonmonogamy up as in any way as superior to monogamy, they offer their readers a glimpse at the reality that nonmonogamy can hold as much joy and fulfillment for some as monogamy does for others.”—Race Bannon, author of Learning the Ropes: A Basic Guide to Safe and Fun BDSM Lovemaking


“In its new incarnation, More Than Two is one of the best and most important contemporary books about love and relationships out there. It is essential reading, not only for those who are (or wonder if they are) nonmonogamous, but for their friends and families, and ultimately for anyone who wants to think carefully and deeply about what it means to love and respect one's partner(s). This book tackles a series of fraught—but urgent—ethical questions about how we behave towards those with whom we share our intimate lives, and it does so with exceptional sensitivity and nuance.”—Carrie Jenkins, author of What Love Is (and What it Could Be), Sad Love and Nonmonogamy and Happiness.


"Get ready to engage in honest discussions about difficult subjects without cheerleading or boosterism. More Than Two, Second Edition is both warmhearted and clear-eyed. Recommended for existing practitioners and those curious about getting started."—Marcus McCann, author of Park Cruising


More Than Two, Second Edition leaves no stone unturned in offering guidance for weathering the highs, lows, and in-betweens of nonmonogamy. Monogamous folks will find a lot to value here, too: insights into growth and change, building trust, communication skills, and real talk about abuse, all written with great empathy and awareness of our very human vulnerabilities. A classic relationship book for everyone.”—Mo Daviau, bookseller and author of Every Anxious Wave


“In the years since the publication of More Than Two, the world has changed, we have changed, and, for many of us, the way we see that book has changed. Eve and Andrea have done something truly remarkable in taking what was good from the original edition and updating it to create a nonmonogamy resource for a new era; one that is full of wisdom, kindness, awareness, compassion, empathy, and useful practical information.”—JoEllen Notte, author of The Monster Under the Bed and In It Together


“I wish I had had something like this when I was starting off in polyamory—it may have helped to counteract so many of the incorrect perceptions I had. I love that this book frames nonmonogamy in a realistic way, acknowledging the struggles we all go through without stigmatising the emotions that most people will understandably feel. I feel grounded by the honest acknowledgement of the experiences and background of both authors—you understand more where they are coming from, which is an aspect that I feel usually missing from a lot of starter books for people interested in nonmonogamous relationships. There are so many complexities to consider around nonmonogamy and More Than Two, Second Edition does a truly great job of covering many bases extremely well.”—Lola Phoenix, author of The Anxious Person's Guide to Nonmonogamy


"More Than Two, Second Edition is essential reading for anyone who wants to date humans and not be an asshole, whether you practice polyamory or not. I will no longer be dating people who have not read this book."—Rachel Lark, writer, musician, and creator of Coming Soon: A New Rock Musical


"This second edition of More Than Two revisits a popular nonmonogamy guide and deeply enriches it with experience, compassion, and gentleness towards people who are exploring the world of nonmonogamous intimacy. Whether your nonmonogamy is flavored more like relationship anarchy or polyamory, whether you are solo or multiply partnered, whether you're asexual or allosexual, there is quality information here that will help you navigate love in all its forms."—Kitty Stryker, author of Ask Yourself and Say More


"More Than Two, Second Edition by Eve Rickert and Andrea Zanin is a captivating exploration of the complexities and joys of polyamory. In this insightful guide, they take readers on a journey beyond conventional relationship norms, offering practical advice, personal anecdotes, and thoughtful reflections on navigating multiple intimate connections. With warmth and wisdom, they challenge societal norms, offering a roadmap for creating fulfilling, ethical, and sustainable relationships. Whether you're new to polyamory or a seasoned practitioner, More Than Two, Second Edition is an essential resource for anyone seeking to cultivate love and connection in all its forms.—Laura Antoniou, author of The Killer Wore Leather


"A beautiful deconstruction of how fairy tale mononormativity shapes our expectations for connection, with deep insight into more expansive ways of relating. With this new edition, More Than Two reminds us why it's a trusted primer on how to use courage, discernment, ethics, and empowerment to thrive in nonmonogamy. Whether you're new to exploring or looking for a sound refresh, this book is ready to walk you down the enriching and well-trodden pathways to opening up."—Leigh Cowart, author of Hurts So Good


“When the first version of More Than Two came out, many referred to it as the poly Bible. I like to think that we've all collectively learned a lot since then, and it's nice to see a new incarnation of this book that has grown with us and been fine-tuned to address many more nuances. May we all continue to learn and grow, and keep noticing what is best for our own hearts, minds, and souls.”—Tikva Wolf, creator of Kimchi Cuddles comics


“Finally, a how-to book that I can recommend without reservation to the newly poly-curious and veteran nonmonogamists alike! More Than Two, Second Edition is for anyone who wants to practice conscientiousness and kindness in their connections with others. The practical, actionable advice for nonmonogamy flows intuitively from the thoughtful prompts for self-reflection.”—Eli Heina Dadabhoy, blogger at Heinous Dealings on The Orbit network


"At last, an update to a classic! It's wonderful to see this edition cover intersectionality and touch on more nuance and diversity within nonmonogamy. I’m so excited to recommend this book to anyone interested in nonmonogamy, even those who've been practicing for years."—Michelle Hy, nonmonogamy educator, Polyamorous While Asian


More Than Two, Second Edition validates the immense courage it often takes to begin — and continue — one's ethical nonmonogamy journey. The authors' breadth of experience is evident, yet not formidable. This is a powerful new addition to the library of ethical nonmonogamy and should be considered essential reading!"—Andre Shakti, polyamory pundit


“I often encounter people preaching the gospel of nonmonogamy and telling me (and others) how to do this thing we do—I've even been one of those people—but rarely is that advice worth much. In More Than Two, Second Edition Eve and Andrea have revitalized the original, making it a new essential book. Never preaching or condemning, they explain, examine, and explore in dialog with the reader. They reach out welcoming hands, saying not to be afraid of this lifestyle and that you can do it.”—Cooper S. Beckett, author of My Life on the Swingset and co-author of The Pegging Book


"The authors have seamlessly incorporated important topics such as decolonization into their riveting discussion of nonmonogamous structures and values. This is the More Than Two for a new empathetic and radical audience."—Mainely Mandy, video essayist


“This new iteration of More Than Two is a much-needed expansion. A maturation, an improvement that is not just information, but heart and soul come to fruition. The authors have gone from ‘what you need to know’ to ‘what we have learned.’ Rickert and Zanin have given us the compassionate update that nonmonogamy, and the world, needed."—Zach Budd, LMSW


More Than Two, Second Edition doesn't try to be a manual, a course, a quick reference, or a casual read, but it somehow reads as all of those and more. Eve and Andrea keep it accessible to people both new and experienced in multiple relationships by providing context, meaning, and history behind the language and jargon surrounding relationships, intimacy, and communication. It's deeply rewarding to dive in and see the complex and nuanced details and decisions about some of the most important parts of our lives given clarity, providing everyone with more options and more power to make decisions and create relationships and community."—Dylan T. Thomas, co-host of Life on the Swingset


More Than Two, Second Edition is a true game changer in the field of nonmonogamy theory and education. Rickert and Zanin have crafted a smart, thorough, compassionate book that tackles many issues, including those others shy away from including misconduct and abuse. This book is useful for beginners and veterans alike and offers practical tools to nourish any kind of relationship.”—Tristan Taormino, author of Opening Up


“The second edition of More Than Two is a wonderful updated resource that will be helpful for monogamous and nonmonogamous readers alike. The down-to-earth tone and the thoughtful consideration of ways to care for others, make this book an invaluable addition to the literature on relationships. I hope everyone reads it!”—Naava Smolash, author of Turn This World Inside Out

“In place of dominant and oppressive-for-so-many relationship norms, Eve Rickert and Andrea Zanin offer abundant possibilities that not only disrupt those norms, but that better meet the desires...


Available Editions

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ISBN 9781990869587
PRICE $34.95 (USD)
PAGES 480

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Featured Reviews

I absolutely adore this book and the fact that there's a new edition makes my heart sing. The new content really adds to the experience and clarifies some of the problematic language from the first edition. I can't wait to see what the general polyamorous community think of this newer edition.

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The first edition made me a better person. Not from having read it once-few books work that way-but from subsequent readings and frequent reviews of my notes and highlights. Now this one comes along and exceeds the original in every dimension. Kindness, maturity, wisdom, and thoughtfulness. The voice is gentler but also much more secure about self and boundaries and respect. If you are in any sort of relationship involving human beings (including your self), this book needs to be part of your toolkit.

I've been resisting the lure of prepubs for years; this is the book that I could not wait for and made me sign up with netgalley. My thanks to them for the advance copy.

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Extremely excited to receive a copy of the new edition of More Than Two. I've been waiting years for this!
Thank you to Thornapple Press & NetGalley for the ARC.

Eve Rickert has done it again, with Andrea Zanin as a co-author. This edition feels more inclusive and points out the colonist and imperialist mindset that centres amatonormativity as the end-all, be-all. I loved Kim TallBear's introduction and the fact that they mention updated references like Polysecure, the new "bible" of the non-monogamous set. As someone who *is* non-monogamous and polyamorous, this is one of the books that was suggested most when I tried to explore alternative relationship styles. The interdependence on other literature and conversing with other works felt wholesome and indicative of the authors and their generosity. For Rickert to provide more resources despite being one of the pioneers of representation, is excellent. It feels like a completely different book from the original in many ways. It is borrowing from disability justice pioneers like Mia Mingus, and introducing more inclusive identities and examples. Rickert and Zanin, though both white, are inspired by Black abolitionist leaders, disability justice pioneers, queer elders and theorists-- citing them and giving them space to decolonize the Western hegemony that prevails.

I'd say think of this book as a friendly reminder that the wide spectrum of humanity is vast and ultimately, relationships are about being kind to one another. I'm appreciative and can't wait to write a more detailed review of this when the final version is out.

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‘More Than Two’ by Eve Rickert is a comprehensive guide that delves into the complexities of nonmonogamous relationships, offering invaluable insights for both newcomers and experienced practitioners of polyamory. As someone who has embraced nonmonogamy for several years, I found this second edition to be a well-refined and thoughtful exploration of the subject. The book emphasises the importance of cultivating relationships with kindness and integrity, a message that resonates deeply in today’s evolving landscape of human connection.

Accuracy: ★★★★★
Rickert’s approach to nonmonogamy is grounded in both personal experience and a wealth of research. The book is filled with real-life examples, ethical considerations, and practical advice, all of which are presented with remarkable accuracy. Rickert’s careful attention to detail ensures that the information is not only correct but also applicable in a variety of relationship dynamics. Her commitment to providing accurate, nuanced insights is evident throughout the book.

Perspective: ★★★★★
Rickert offers a deeply empathetic and inclusive perspective on nonmonogamy. She recognizes that every relationship is unique and encourages readers to explore what works best for them, without imposing a one-size-fits-all solution. Her emphasis on kindness, communication, and mutual respect sets a compassionate tone that is both refreshing and empowering. Rickert’s perspective is particularly valuable for those navigating the challenges of nonmonogamy while striving to maintain integrity in their relationships.

Relevance: ★★★★★
As nonmonogamy continues to gain visibility and acceptance, ‘More Than Two’ is more relevant than ever. Rickert addresses the evolving nature of relationships in the 21st century, offering guidance that is both timely and timeless. The book’s focus on ethical nonmonogamy makes it an essential read for anyone looking to build meaningful, consensual relationships in today’s diverse and dynamic world. Its relevance extends beyond the polyamorous community, offering insights that can benefit anyone interested in deepening their understanding of love, connection, and ethical relating.

Engagement: ★★★★★
Rickert’s writing is both engaging and thought-provoking. The book is filled with relatable anecdotes, reflective questions, and practical exercises that encourage active participation from the reader. Rickert’s ability to present complex ideas in a clear and compelling way makes the book an enjoyable and intellectually stimulating read. The second edition also includes updated content that reflects the latest developments in the field, keeping the reader engaged and informed.

Readability: ★★★★★
The book is exceptionally well-written, with a clear and accessible style that makes it easy to follow. Rickert’s ability to distil complex concepts into straightforward language ensures that readers of all backgrounds can benefit from the book’s insights. The structure of the book is logical and well-organized, with each chapter building on the previous one to create a cohesive and comprehensive guide. The addition of summaries and key takeaways at the end of each chapter enhances the book’s readability, making it a practical resource for both quick reference and in-depth study.

Enjoyment: ★★★★★
‘More Than Two’ is not only informative but also a pleasure to read. Rickert’s warmth, humour, and sincerity shine through, making the book both enjoyable and inspiring. Her passion for ethical nonmonogamy and her commitment to helping others navigate their relationships with integrity is palpable on every page. Readers will find themselves not only learning from the book but also feeling uplifted and empowered by its message.


‘More Than Two’ by Eve Rickert is a must-read for anyone interested in exploring nonmonogamous relationships with kindness and integrity. The second edition builds on the strengths of the original, offering updated insights and practical advice that are both relevant and impactful. Rickert’s thoughtful approach, combined with her engaging writing style, makes this book an invaluable resource for anyone looking to cultivate ethical, meaningful connections in their lives. Whether you are new to nonmonogamy or a seasoned practitioner, ‘More Than Two’ will inspire you to approach your relationships with greater empathy, understanding, and care.

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Description
“ Can you love more than one person?” A lot of conversations about nonmonogamy start this way. When we discuss “opening” relationships, contemplate whether we want to be exclusive with our partners, or introduce multiple partners to friends and family, we are asking the people in our lives, and ourselves, to contend with this question. The answer is obvious, and misleading. The love one feels in their heart and the love one expresses through daily acts of care and affection are both “love” in the true sense, but they have different requirements, present different options and produce different outcomes. More Than Two can’ t promise outcomes, but it is a guide to the paths— from anchor or nesting partnerships to relationship anarchy— possible within nonmonogamy.

Was this review helpful?

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