The Nutcracker Chronicles

“Smart, vivid, and full of heart, Kovac nails what it feels like to be a little kid with a big dream, then fearlessly leads us to that dream's realization and--maybe best of all--to what comes after.”

—Sara Nović, New York Times bestselling author of “True Biz” and “Girl at War”

“‘The Nutcracker Chronicles’ traces the root of one girl’s dream to dance and reach for the divine while laying bare the hard truths that come with that kind of stretching—the emotional, physical, spiritual and financial costs incurred in the name of relentless artistic callings. This book dazzles with vulnerability and vibrates with the unbridled innocence and energy of youthful convictions, reminding us that certain human needs, like love and confidence and simply being seen, are inside jobs, and while the human body has its limits, the search for that single thing that makes our hearts soar is illimitable. This book is a triumph for our times and a tribute to every one of us who knows what it means to feel more than see the beauty around and in us.”

—Putsata Reang, author of Pacific Northwest Book Award winner “Ma and Me”

"Filled with vivid, transporting descriptions of dance, from the fabric of sumptuous costumes to the fascinating mechanics of balance, The Nutcracker Chronicles is a true insider's take on what transpires behind the scenes, on and off stage, and in the hearts and bodies of dancers. Kovac highlights not just the pure beauty of ballet, but the interconnected waves of enthrallment, hard work, setbacks, celebration, and self-possession that shaped her life from childhood lessons to professional fruition and success."

—Savala Nolan, author of “Don’t Let It Get You Down: Essays on Race, Gender, and the Body”

“A voice as distinctive and moving as they come. Kovac writes from deeply inside the experience and through it all we are privy to what isn’t seen on stage, for she not only knows she tells, ‘exactly what’s happening on the other side of the curtain.’ Janine Kovac has penned a new ballet of prose that will stay with you long after that final curtain call.”

—Toni Mirosevich, author of “Spell Heaven”

“Janine Kovac’s evocative memoir of her life in dance, punctuated by all the Nutcrackers in her long and circuitous career, takes us on a journey that is both relatable and extraordinary. Her precise memory for poignant detail took me straight back to those early days of our shared Ballet El Paso Nutcrackers! Brava Janine, you so expertly portray all the complicated facets of a life devoted to dance and all the shapes that life can take.”

—Tanya Rivero Warren, network news anchor, and former New York City Ballet dancer 

“Janine Kovac's vividly written and cleverly structured memoir will give anyone delighted with Nutcracker an insider understanding of what it's like to be a working dancer, as well as deepen their understanding of the Tchaikovsky classic.”

—Rachel Howard, San Francisco Chronicle dance critic and author of “The Risk of Us”

Janine Kovac’s witty, honest, heartfelt ballet-centric memoir moves with the grace of dance, from little girl enthusiasms, oven-baked toe shoes, petty jealousies, and nasty teachers to the tireless competition of international auditioning, performance and struggling to make a life on stage. For those who love dance, for those who know nothing of dance, this bittersweet book will speak to you about perseverance, friendship, and what is really important.

—Lauren Kessler, author of “Raising the Barre: Big Dream, False Starts and My Midlife Quest to Dance the Nutcracker”